A: If your former partner is on the birth certificate he is legally presumed in the absence of a challenge to be the child’s father. You both have a theoretical right of equal status to choose how to parent (such as deciding what times the child will be with which of you and the making of any decision related to your child’s education). If you were married and getting divorced the Domestic Relations judge in your case would have you and he come to agreement as to all specifics about parenting this child or would conduct a formal process such as a hearing or trial where he or she would hear from both sides and make his or her own decisions about future parenting instead. Because you are not married you have not had a reason (until now) to present to the Court for negotiation or a judge’s ruling(s). If you can’t work things out, you need to go to Court to get this formally decided. You may want to file a petition with your local Court’s Domestic Relations division to set begin the official process that may be necessary if you can’t agree with the father.
A: You can try to persuade the particular State’s Attorney’s office involved that it’s best not to prosecute, but once the process has passed the charging stage, they don’t have to drop the case just because you want them to. The State’s Attorneys have an obligation to the public to investigate and prosecute crime brought to their attention and aren’t bound to stop doing their work just because a witness or victim has second thoughts. While you cannot be jailed for refusing to testify against your mother, you could possibly be held in contempt of court and possibly be fined.